But I want to build Rome in a Day!

But I want to build Rome in a Day!

I have a fire in my belly and some kind of inflammation in my brain.  I love my garden and I have a grand vision for it.  For the parts of the garden I have already created, there is a standard in my head that I like it to be at… all the time.  The thing is, it is a garden, one that is full of living things that have short life spans and die often.  The edible section is high maintenance because that is the nature of things.  You have to nurture and support them as they grow if you want to see a harvest.  Often times it can quickly become a mess.

The ornamental section has been created to be as low maintenance as possible, although low does not equal no and work is still required.  For the most part it is just weeding and trimming, and I find both of these processes gentle and rewarding, when I keep on top of things.  Not so much if I turn my back for a moment too long.

While I’m open about all of this, I have to confess there are some areas where I have started a project and ‘finished’ it.  However, the project doesn’t agree that it is finished or dislikes what I’ve done, and plants turn up their toes, weeds invade easily, or it just doesn’t work out the way I expected it would.  Mostly this is due to where we live.  If I had some kind of sedate, flat pastoral land where the soil is perfect and the wind doesn’t get to more than a gentle breeze, life would be easy. 

But it’s not easy – here beside the sea, gardening on moving sand that is barely fertile and the wind howls a hoolie.  Yesterday it got up to 130Km/h and I’m too scared to see the impact of it all, but if there is damage I’ll set to work setting it right and restoring things to how I want them to be.  …And the projects that haven’t lived up to expectation?  …Well, I’ve put them on the list, somewhere near the bottom, and one day I’ll come back, after a lot of contemplation and I’ll adjust them into a modified vision.

The parts I haven’t created yet …  Oh boy, you should see what I see – the visions are incredible.  There is just the little business of getting it out of my head and into reality.  I haven’t finished yet, not by a long shot.  I just hope there is enough life left in my days.  When I started this gardening lark I was a spring chicken, and the thing about gardening is with the passing of each season you are more aware of the passing of time than ordinary folk.  That and my bones tend to creak a little after a hard day in the garden.  Having said that I’m no where near being considered old… there is too much to do without wasting time thinking about that sort of thing.  I’ll get old when I stop gardening.

The fire in my belly keeps me going, but the inflammation in my head holds me back.  It is just as well the fire in my belly is more voracious than the annoyance in my head.  If you didn’t know, I have Multiple Sclerosis and it is a pain in the butt.  I’m blessed enough that it is mild enough to allow me to carry on doing what I do, but it pops up every now and again like an overanxious helicopter mum, ‘should you be doing that, it looks heavy?’ ‘You’re getting tired – go to your room right now missy!’ 

It holds me back with trepidation from launching myself at projects full on and causes me to kick myself at the slow place things move forward.  It makes me doubt if I should even attempt projects due to the sheer size of them, but if I stopped and listened to that incessant and annoying voice I’d never get things done.  MS makes me question if I’m lazy, a terrible procrastinator or do I have an unrequited symptom I’m choosing to ignore.  So, we have an agreement, I will push against its boundaries so long as it lets me know where the outer reaches are, and I promise to stop before damage is done.

I have accepted I can’t do everything by myself, and I have my Wee Helper and my Handy Helper joining the team with a reluctant Hubby the Un-Gardener.  He does the really hard stuff with ease, and my helpers help hold back the tide of weeds, allowing me to throw myself into other things.   Having people to work with is enough of a motivation to get me going when I’d rather not.  But with little steps and a gentle approach it is amazing what can be achieved on even the slowest days.   These are the days I feel more alive than if I chose to stay indoors ‘taking things easy.’  Asking for help was a big deal, but having help is game changing.

There are so many ‘World Such and Such Days’ and many are gardening related.  We just had World Bee Day to remind us of the importance of bees, and World Naked Gardening Day but no one needs to see that.  Then there are compost days, arbour days and I could easily get behind World Talk Like a Pirate Day on the 19^th of September. There are so many days to suit your fancy.  But I think this year, I want to highlight today’s Day – World MS Day to raise awareness for this incurable and incredibly life altering condition.  Like I said – I have it quite easy, but others have not fared so well, so I count myself blessed that I can garden and create wonderful things to keep me well and healthy.  Visit >World MS Day< if you want to find out more and if you need support here in NZ the >Multiple Sclerosis New Zealand< are an invaluable resource.

Come again soon – I will build Rome, just probably not in one day.

Sarah the Gardener  : o)